Christmas Story for 2014

As I write this on paper on windy night,  (please note that this was transcribed on to this blog post after being found in a deserted house), I hear that a major city in the north has lost its power. Again, that’s the second time in a week that a city has lost its services. Some say its terrorists, some blame another country, but I can’t say that. I know the truth. That is why I have to write it down, but not on a computer because that needs electricity. And what is out there, doesn’t need coal, it s just needs the water and the sun…

“That will never be. Who can impress the forest, bid the tree unfix his earthbound root?” Shakespeare, Macbeth

A month ago, maybe even more, there was, in this country, an unrecorded slaughter. A massacre. An armageddon. And those bodies, carcasses, mortal remains…those chassises of coiled DNA were  bisected from their cultural roots, dragged from where they fell without words of thanks or ceremony. If they were lucky, their bodies were bagged up in cheap plastic liners, some may say biodegradable sleeves but I have seen the evidence. And loaded into refrigerated trucks, vans, pantechnicons without a parson to register the loss of life. They have come from nurseries small in size to the vast industrial sized spaces and now await their fate, we had a choice in this decimation. The government even sanctioned the removal of a hundred thousand of these bodies from their own dwellings. In Britain - be it on the highlands, the islands, the lowlands, on the estates - it is estimated that this number increases to six million living entities. 

...wait, I think I just heard something outside the window, oh dear, sweet thing, don’t come yet...

Maybe I was just imagining things, I have been told the global numbers of this annual massacre include numbers of up to and over one hundred and eighty million. In 2009, Pakistan had a population of one hundred and eighty one million. Somewhere, these bodies lay either resplendent in death or piled on top of each other awaiting the next movement. Some may end up in a lay by on a dual carriageway, whilst others are awaiting to be taken to a house near you in exchange for money or a favour. You may even have one in your room.

...did you hear that, I am sure that was an explosion near me…oh no, now the lights have gone out…found a candle and some matches…I must finish this before they get too much closer…

Have you seen them bedecked in gaudy tinsel, their dehydrated limbs supporting glass and metal baubles, their desiccated needles pining for a forgotten fjord. It is said that some go bald, some are sprayed with flammable liquids to preserve their natural flora, the luckier ones get to keep their roots and maybe the same soil they grew up. But look out of your window, look at the glowing and blinking windows of the next door neighbours, imagine that you have can move back the net curtains to gain a better view. That plant, the humble Christmas tree, a Norwegian spruce of approximately six foot would have given you nineteen grams of oxygen per day. At night, it changes its natural mechanisms and produces fourteen of carbon dioxide. Imagine what that government sanctioned arboricide would have produced in oxygen. It was thought that mid November was when nature started fighting back, some say earlier than that. The plants started invading the cities more than people that thought they would. Britain is home to grasses and grasslands, but those grasses can grow at a great rate given the right conditions. Next time, if you get the chance, look out at a field and look at the blades of grass. How high are they? Ten, twenty maybe thirty centimetres, fifty centimetres. Look at that plot of ground, how many species of grass are there in that one area? They could be fifty species. All fighting for light, nutrition and water. Why do they call them blades? 

…another noise, that sounded like breaking glass, a blast of cold air affronts my safety and security and then I hear the sound of sliding, whispering, the movement of something organic, I must concentrate…

The power stations near York succumbed to a plant infestation. The increased growth of the plants was blamed on urban terrorists. But maybe with an average growth of the bramble plant of three inches a day and agitated movement of the meristem helps the plant to move across the ground. Backward facing spines dig into all surfaces to gain purchase, to tear, to inflict damage. This is just one plant, coursing every forward on a mission of which it is the only one to know where it will end up and what it will do. Maybe it is the fairer winter weather conditions that has increased the growth. One newspaper website published a reader’s story where a single Mother had come downstairs to find   thick ivy shoots that had pushed through the letter box and curled around the base of her Christmas tree. 

…i can see, out of the corner of my eye, the rapidly moving bramble plant brush past yesterday’s newspapers that I was going to use for present wrapping, another punctured window and the temperature drops again, oh, what is that on my ankle…

Maybe it has something to do with the Christmas trees, maybe it is just time for nature to fight back

This may be partly fiction based upon fact and here are the links and facts that I used to create a Christmas ghost story: More than 180 million real Christmas trees are harvested worldwide each year. 6 million are sold in Britain. The Forestry Commission supplies 100,000; Once it has been cut, a Christmas tree will survive in the house for around ten days. the world’s largest Christmas tree is 362 feet high in Mexico City; assuming it’s indoors, a typical 6 foot Norway Spruce will emit around 19 grams of oxygen in a single day, and 14 grams in carbon dioxide in night (AQA text service, text 63336) ; http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p004gx5p ; http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/the-botanist-who-hunts-for-giant-trees-at-kew-gardens-9938031.html ; I tried to write a Christmas Ghost Story that M. R. James would have written if he had been a botanist, Happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year and watch out for the brambles. 

(c) 21/12/14 

Mother's Musings No. 3

Here is an other entry from Mother's Common Place Book:

"To plough is to pray.
To plant is to prophesy
And the harvest answers
And fulfills."

Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-99)

"Our lives are not our own to dispose of as and when we think fit. Whether we know it or not, we are part of a divine and purposeful plan with a place to fill and a task to perform. And the punishment for...sliding out...is hell. What do you think hell is? Where do you think it is? Who can say? Hell has many names and aspects. Who can describe it? Perhaps you can. The ancient Jews called it Gehenna after a valley outside Jerusalem, a valley desolate and lost, the dumping ground of refuse consumed by perpetual fires - the ultimate end, a place without hope.

A place without hope. But it isn't Gehenna or the furnaces in the depths. It's the break-up where nothing stays good. It's your soul alone in space - trying to get up among the blue stars and being sucked down into the awful heaving sea where everything swirls away and falls apart. Death isn't sleep and darkness. It's the vibrating infinity that could be bright and beautiful if it didn't heel(?) over into hell - the place without hope."

The Man in the Mews, Joy Packer

Mother's Musings No. 2

Here is another entry from Mother's Common Place Book:

“If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.”

― Walter D. Wintle

Here is a link to a bit more about the poem.

Mother's Musings No.1

Mum, or Margaret Elliott to those who know her, wrote in notebooks and collected little musings, newspaper cuttings and other such paraphernalia that was cut out and stuck in or copied out in her neat writing, so in a way to keep these musings and in order to help her deal with loss of sight, I have started to write the things out from her notebooks - she, like any others of her age and generation wrote a blog in notebooks or Common Place Books.

• Farm as though you are going to farm forever, but live as though you are going to die tomorrow. (John Marsden)
• You should plan as if you will live forever and work as if you will die tomorrow.
• A farmer is the steward of his land for his lifetime.
• In life you have the choice, to be a large fish in a small pond, or a little fish in the sea.
• Rather than be at the mercy of your boss, it is better to crow on your own dung hill.
• There is no better fertiliser for the land then the feel of the farmer's boot. (attributed to Hansard's Report on Small Farmers)
• To thine own self, be true (Polonius in Hamlet by Shakespeare Act 1, Scene 3, 78-82)

If you know where these might have originated from or you think I may have got something wrong, please feel free to comment...

Scotland dinnae start the fire

Scotland dinnae start the fire

(With apologies to Billy Joel)

North Sea Oil, Irn Bru, Smoked Salmon, Tartan true

Loch Rannock, Our Poor Wullie, Ewan McGregor

Robert Carlyle, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Cumming, Television

North Lanarkshire, South Lanarkshire, Beer Swilling Beggar

Trainspotting, Amy Pond, Rabbie Burns, Bracken Frond

SuperGran, Scrooge McDuck, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

Conner MacLeod, Tam Lin, Scotland's beheaded queen

Dr. Finlay, Whiskey Galore, Golf Ball Double Bogey

Scotland dinnae start the fire

The heather is always burning

Since the kilts have been turning

We dinnae start the fire

No we dinnae right it

But we tried to fight it

Alex Salmond, Tony Blair, and Dame Evelyn Glennie

Vettriano, The Wasp Factory, Deep Fried Cross Bun

James Bond, Buckfast Tonic, Iannucci, Nevis

Inverlair Falls, Lindsay Davidson

Tunnoch’s Teacakes, Scotland’s curling winning team

Gerard Butler, Thirty Nine Steps, Craig Ferguson, Dis Nae Harm

Green Tweed, John Hannah, Gordon Jackson, Courage

Auburn Hair, Twins in Specs, Bowl of Salty Porridge

Scotland dinnae start the fire

The heather is always burning

Since the kilts have been turning

We dinnae start the fire

No we dinnae right it

But we tried to fight it

Muckle Roe, Oransay, Benbecula, Isle of May

Loch Ness, Dougray Scott, A Reproductive Cell

Deborah Kerr, West Lothian, Caledonian Scene

Edinburgh, Shotgun Shell, Alexander Graham Bell…

John Logie Baird, James Watt, Edinburgh Rock, St. Serf’s Inch

James Hutton, Hemming, Alexander Fleming

Orkney, Heart Disease, Bridge Over The River Forth

Berwickshire , Midge Ure, The Celts A Force Majeur

Scotland dinnae start the fire

The heather is always burning

Since the kilts have been turning

We dinnae start the fire

No we dinnae right it

But we tried to fight it

Gordon Brown, Rab C, Tam o’ Shanter in Bed

Wee Dram, Sporran, Sgian Dubh in a long sock

Friday Night Behaviour, Harry Pottermania

South Uist, Billy Boyd, Atheletes Battle Weirdly

Choose Life, Hibs and Hearts, Will The Vote Say No Or…

Scotland taken away, what else do I have to say

Scotland dinnae start the fire

The heather is always burning

Since the kilts have been turning

We dinnae start the fire

No we dinnae right it

But we tried to fight it

Holyrood, McDonald, Loch, Mountain, Firth and Fountain

David Hume, Great Scott , Andy Murray, Celt Rock

Zetland, Perthshire, Kinross-shire, Terror in the Valley

The Kilt Wearing Highlanders, The Wettish Fly Fisherman

Richard Wilson, Airplane, Bomb In The Hold, Lockerbie

Scottish debts, Homeless Pets, Books, Scots, Thistle Stem

Tourists On The Golden Mile, Glasgow holding sport aloft

Yes and No Votes Fighting Now, I can't take it anymore

Scotland dinnae start the fire

The heather is always burning

Since the kilts have been turning

We dinnae start the fire

But when we are gone

It will still burn on and on and on and on

And on and on and on and on...

Scotland dinnae start the fire

The heather is always burning

Since the kilts have been turning

Tips on Dealing with a Partially Sighted Parent - Part One

Some months and maybe more than a year ago, I started this blog as a way to put down my thoughts and this seems the ideal place for putting down a few tips or life hacks to help other children or adults who are looking after their parents who have partial sight.

Please note: these are tips that I have found useful whilst looking after my Mother who has severe visual impairment in the left field of vision that originated from temporal arteritis - these "tips" may or may not help your, the reader, situation or those of who you are caring for (and please don't blame me for anything) but I certainly hope it helps the situation you are in.

• Piatnik Playing Cards - Superb Giant Index Cards - I got a set from Amazon and have used them for playing Snap and my Mother uses them for playing Patience. The latter game helps with her sight, placing skills and memory. I expect to play with Vingt et Un soon. 
  
• Cutting Boards - despite being severely visually impaired, Mother still wants to do things to feel that she is being helpful and she is, too. These boards are flexible, dishwashable and impregnated with anti-bacterial agents.
  
  
• To improve hand eye co-ordination, I gave her a small Klip Lock box with dried cranberries or mixed berry fruit mix and a cocktail stick. This was so that she could pierce the fruit with a cocktail stick, it helped to reinforce a form of eccentric viewing. Her determinism shone through as she finished the box and I felt it did help with depth perception as well.

• I did also get her a high visibilty USB 2 keyboard to help with her typing on the computer. I used orange bumpons to act as anchor points on the "Q" keys as well as highlighting the keys with the raised lines on them - these being the "F", "J" and the "5" key on the numeric pad. I taught my Mother a few mnemonics to remember the letters on the keyboard. The most successful one was for the second line "All Squid Dive Freely (to the) Golf Hole (to see) JeKyL". 

I look forward to hearing from other people who have had to work with partially sighted or blind people for tips. 

Storms from a while ago

Originally taken from a Eurolink blog post, that I wrote about this time last year,  I thought it was a timely reminder of that storm after the wind and rain of St. Judes' Storm.

It was twenty five years ago (and a week ago) that the South East of England was hit, by what some newspapers called, a hurricane or a very strong storm. Michael Fish MBE is a weather forecaster who has worked for the British Broadcasting Company (BBC) and is still known for a comment before a forecast he made on the 15th of October 1987:

"Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way... well, if you're watching, don't worry, there isn't!"

It was suggested that Michael Fish was referring to Hurricane Floyd in Florida, USA that had developed off the coast of Nicaragua on the 9th of October and had been referred to in the One O'Clock News bulletin. But to his credit, Mr. Fish did warn people of high winds for the UK and to "batten down the hatches", but the storm did turn out to be a lot stronger than predicted.

The BBC On This Day website for the 16th of October records that "at least 13 people are known to have died and many dozens have been injured, mostly by falling trees and buildings...winds hit 94 miles per hour (151 kilometres per hour) in the capital and over 110 miles per hour (177 kilometres per hour) in the Channel Islands" and "In the London Borough of Ealing alone, 600 calls came from people whose homes and cars had been struck by falling trees and debris."
 
 The BBC Science and Environment website for the 15th of October 2012 records that "an estimated 15 million trees were uprooted...with winds recorded at speeds in excess of 100 miles per hour (160 kilometres per hour or 86 knots)" and "at Toys Hill, the highest point in Kent, about 98% of the woodland...was lost".

It was suggested that this widespread devastation of woodlands was going to be disastrous, but with time it has been shown that the storm helped increase the woodland biota. Dr. Keith Kirby (of Natural England), a co-author on the Great Storm's ecological impact on woodlands (an interesting pdf on climate and woodland ecology can be found here) reported that the lack of woodland exploitation after the Second World War and decreased coppicing had led to the woodland canopy closing over and reducing the low-level biodiversity. The storm opened up the canopy and led to an increase in bluebell and primrose density as well as a temporary increase in the fritillary (a woodland butterfly)  population

Dr. Peter Buckley, the other co-author with Dr. Keith Kirby, found that the effects post storm changed the past monoculture of the woodlands. The tightly packed tall trees had shallow roots that led to them being easily ripped out, whereas as coppiced trees tend to be kept shorter and lead to less trees being damaged by the stronger winds. A lot of the woods regenerated naturally with pioneer species and since there were struggling with nature, there was less need for artificial management.

What are your memories of the Great Storm in 1987? Please add your comments.

Defrosting my Mother's fridge

Okay, not the most exciting title and its not a euphemism, but whilst my Mother's refrigerator has a chance to breathe new live into the assorted liquids, solids and those that live between the two states; it still needs to be defrosted as the ice box gains more ice than Chilean glacier during a period of hot sun.

It has an old pull handle reminiscent of the large and old American 'fridges that Smeg embraced when they redesigned the pantry hardware. You then pull on the vertically channeled handle and there is a reassuring clunk as the mechanism detaches from the lock. It does not have the same snug fit around the door seal as it would have done when it was first purchased due to the material becoming perished and that no doubt leads to the increased accumulation of the frozen water in the ice box.

Admittedly, the ice box currently has the unimaginable maw of a potential Abominable Snowman or a Yeti. Knowhow.com describes the two forms of ice buildup in fridges - powdered ice and solid ice. The former that looks like Jack Frost has been popping into the fridge and dusting the food with delicate ice crystals or maybe it was one of those delicate fairies from Fantasia. 

Basically it means that warm air has got in either due to lots of opening and closing from frequent trips to see if the light really stays on when it is closed (see further down for that point) or that you have a poor seal.

(Source - Flickr)

The latter, the scourge of solid ice, is due to the freezing of water that has found its way into the fridge. Bugger.

So as to the light conundrum, this fridge takes away the problem of the unknowingness of the light being on and/or off. It has a bayonet fitting at the back of the fridge, so you just take the bulb out and remember not to get a potential electric shock. Out of the time that the fridge has been in the pantry, over fifty years, no-one has had an electric shock. The controls for the fridge are equally easy - it has two settings on opposite ends of the spectrum.

This Methuselah of the domestic equipment is supplied by the GEC and is made to the British Standard 922

The BS933 seems to have been written in 1959, Amazon has a link to a binding of the British Standard for Electrical refrigerators and food freezers for household use. After two hours, the ice box still resembles a mouth of a yeti. (All uncredited photos are the authors, which I took with my slowly dying Bleckberry, may get a new one - things aren't built to last nowadays).

How animals use humans and the human environment?

Now I am sure there is a more technical and up to date term that describes the activity where an animal, or animals, use(s) human(s) and the environment created by humans - but for the moment I am going to use the term (that hopefully I have made up and doesn't exist already - this may be amended in later edits) Anthropic Faunal Behaviour (AFB). 

Anthropic - "Of or pertaining to mankind or humans, or the period of humanity's existence." (Wikipedia 2013a)

Faunal - "Pertaining to animals." (Wikitionary 2013)

I got to thinking about this AFB after watching the BBC 2 Horizon programme on cats and how they are monitored through camera and global positioning system (GPS) tracking) - this programme can also be viewed on YouTube. 

I was interested in two distinct types of AFB, which I have named Active and Passive AFB - henceforth known as aAFB or pAFB - where the animal, a cat in these first few examples, either actively uses humans and their environment or not. When a cat is fed by its owner, I am suggesting that this is an example of aAFB as the cat's brain is accepting the food offered by the human and bypassing the natural instinct of hunting and killing prey. The definition of aAFB, as I see it, is where the animals gains something useful directly from the human. 

However, if the cat were to jump on and use the fence to reach a roof, I would like to suggest that this is a form of pAFB as I think that cat sees the fence and roof as an extension of the natural habitat. Although it could posited that the cat's senses would pick up the difference between natural and man-made structures through hearing, sight, smell, taste and touch. The definition of pAFB, as I see it,  is where the animal uses human activity and/or human infrastructure/environment to gain something later in that animal's time line.

Although there could be an argument for a grey area between aAFB and pAFB, I currently searching for an example of this.

An example of pAFB with larger cats can be seen with the video of the cheetah as shot by novatolady and is shown below. The cheetah jumps up onto the Land Rover at around 22 seconds. Is the cheetah using it to escape the cheetah cub or is it using the elevated surface to look for prey and predators? Either way, I think the cheetah made a conscious effort to use the Land Rover for further activity but gains nothing directly from the humans.

I can say that this is not an individual event as a search on YouTube offered 397,000 videos although I cannot vouch for the authenticity of each of these videos as I haven't watched them all.

Next time - Avian aAFB & pAFB

Anthropic - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. 2013a. Anthropic - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. [ONLINE] Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropic. [Accessed 30 June 2013].

faunal - Wiktionary. 2013. faunal - Wiktionary. [ONLINE] Available at: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/faunal. [Accessed 30 June 2013].

BBC Radio 4 follows Avian Tweets

Using the concepts of tweets from the social networking site that was devised by Jack Dorsey, Twitter, the BBC have used the time slot just after the Farming Today and just before Today of less than two minutes. 

In this time, you get to hear the chatter, chirping, chirrupping, clucking, cock-a-doodle-dooing, crying and cuckooing (and remember these are only the "C" words) of many an assorted bird. As well as a fact or two (see I refrained from a pun that could have included the name of an Australian avian) about British birds.

BBC Radio 4's Tweet of the Day uses the Natural History Unit's collection of its avian recordings to bring to life these birds over the working week. The first month's recordings were narrated by Sir David Attenborough with the second month being introduced by Miranda Krestovnikoff. 

The two minute recordings, in my humble opinion, would be ideal for playing during the registration of school classes for the younger years or during a quiet period in between the transition of two subjects. 

• The podcasts can be found here. 
• A list of future birds can be found here.
• A Tweet Of The Day quiz can be found on this page and you will have to submit an answer to find the correct answer. 
• There are a surprising number of uses that use birdsong including reducing the stress of needles and in BP petrol stations toilets, find out how birdsong can be used here.

 

Tea - the great hydrator

Making cups of tea all day in a marquee often leads to the tea-maker not drinking enough tea themselves that then leads to dehydration and will lead to a need, a need for hydration (apologies to you Top Gun fans for that poor mulchification of a quote).

Source

Tea is said to be, by some people, a great hydrator. But aim for caffeine-free teas as the caffeine can lead to dehydration - but I need to find proof for this. Maybe this could be a two-day blog post with an update later today...

And on Friday, we ate fish

On Fridays, people of the Roman Catholic faith are known to eat fish...but what if the fishermen were to become extinct due to a bureaucratic bungle of red tape. A film released by Greenpeace may make this last sentence make more sense:

So if you get a chance, go and see your local fishmonger and say thank you. Sleep well.

Has YouTube replaced The Muppet Show?

For the uninitiated, The Muppet Show was a television show in the seventies that copied the old style of theatrical variety shows. The show was populated with small musical numbers, some comedy routines, maybe a headliner celebrity, who gets pushed into a big budget number with added realism with the sideways glances to the edge of the stage. Albeit in the stage manager's office controlling Viking singing pigs or listening to the heckling of the two old men in the box. This environment, created by Jim Henson and financed by Lew Grade is mainly populated by actors and actresses lovingly recreated in natural and man-made fibres apart from the celebrities.

The video above shows part one (of three) for the first episode of the first season. Within two minutes, we are introduced to Mahna Mahna - you could say it is a version of Psy's Gangham Style. It is sung mainly by a Muppet who could be wearing sunglasses or has really dark eyes singing lyrics that don't make much sense to the uninitiated but it is quite catchy. Does that remind you of anything?

On the flip-side, there seems to be no need to describe YouTube, but I will. It is a collection of videos added to by the public, "but was founded by Chad Hurley, Steve Chen, and Jawed Karim, who were all early employees of PayPal" (Wikipedia 2013). These videos attract "more than 1 billion unique users who watch over 4 billion hours of video each month whilst 72 hours of video are uploaded each minute" (YouTube 2013). But remind yourself of what videos are on YouTube - small musical numbers, some comedy routines, maybe a headliner celebrity, small furry animals. Here is one of the videos you might find readily on YouTube:

Each media outlet, be it through television (120 episodes of the original Muppet Show series - Wikipedia 2013) or through the Internet (in 2011, it had more than 1 trillion views - YouTube 2013) has its similarities and its differences. But, if you are bored on a Friday afternoon before you go home from work and watch a cute kitten or watch a sheep baa, it is possibly because the kids in the seventies were brought up on furry animal sketches. Enjoy this Muppet song brought to you by the wonders of YouTube and spot the celebrity plug.

So can you answer my question, has YouTube replaced The Muppet Show?

The Muppet Show - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. 2013. The Muppet Show - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. [ONLINE] Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Muppet_Show. [Accessed 06 June 2013].

YouTube - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. 2013. YouTube - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. [ONLINE] Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/YouTube. [Accessed 06 June 2013].

Statistics - YouTube . 2013. Statistics - YouTube . [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/yt/press/en-GB/statistics.html. [Accessed 06 June 2013].

The Hobbit and Time Bandits - are they similar?

I got distracted this evening by finally watching The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey directed by Peter Jackson with the new all singing (literally) and dancing (yup that too in the early part) colour adaptation. Admittedly, I was only half watching it whilst doing something else and I will concentrate more next time. 

But the premise of the whole story, and yes I know that J. R. R. Tolkien wrote it before Messrs Gilliam & Palin, seemed very similar to Time Bandits. Maybe it was the journey or the quest motif that both parties are starting on with the inclusion of an odd one out. Be it Bilbo Baggins or Kevin. Or is it because the dwarfs (or dwarves) seem to be either eating, fighting or running? Both use a map (of sorts).

Have a look at the trailer for The Hobbit:

And then compare it with the Time Bandits trailer:

If you can't find a copy of this film, there is currently a copy hiding within the depths of the YouTube oubliette (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AJPA5LzqXI). Admittedly, The Hobbit doesn't switch from time to time but maybe I have lost the plot. I look forward to your thoughts. This blog may resume more sense soon.

Oubliettes and why aren't there more of them in the real world

So should we worry about the oubliettes and why there aren't so many in the world. First of all, what is an oubliette?

According to Vocabulary.com, it is a form of dungeon that is "...very well constructed from the captor's point of view...the only entrance and exit being in the ceiling far above where the prisoner stands, escape is pretty much impossible." (Vocabulary 2013)

For the children of the eighties, you may have been introduced to the concept of an oubliette through Jim Henson's Labyrinth, where our heroine falls through a well of hands and is asked if she wants to go up or down. She chooses down and ends up in an oubliette at the 3 minute stage in the video below..

So creating an oubliette must have been a nightmare for both the builder and possibly the interior painter but a cinch for the architect. Imagine the profile of a brandy glass without the stem and other 

versions surely exist. Here is one image courtesy of Google Search:

How do you get a prisoner in there without injuring them, how do you get them out of there once the term of imprisonment has expired. I guess if the prisoner has expired before the time of imprisonment has completed, the body is left to rot to add to the overall environment.

What would the Third Geneva Convention of 1929 and updated in 1949 (relative to the treatment of prisoners of war) have to say on the construction of oubliettes and their use during periods of war. According to Wikipedia's summary of Part II, articles 12 & 13 to 16:

"Article 12 states that prisoners of war are the responsibility of the state, not the persons who capture them, and that they may not be transferred to a state that is not party to the Convention. Articles 13 to 16 state that prisoners of war must be treated humanely without any adverse discrimination and that their medical needs must be met." (Wikipedia 2013)

Articles 25 to 28 of Part III of the Third Geneva Convention deals with the quarters of the prisoners. Article 25 states: 

"Prisoners of war shall be quartered under conditions as favourable as those for the forces of the Detaining Power who are billeted in the same area. The said conditions shall make allowance for the habits and customs of the prisoners and shall in no case be prejudicial to their health." (ICRC 2013)

So I guess that is why there are less oubliettes created now after the introduction of the Geneva Convention.

It could be said that the smell of decaying flesh may lead to tunneling animals to dig through the oubliette's structure that could lead to escape for subsequent prisoners who have not expired.

This video below shows a Saxon oubliette under Courts of Justice in Nottingham which is really quite well conserved:

Convention (III) relative to the Treatment of Prisoners of War. Geneva, 12 August 1949. 2013. . [ONLINE] Available at: http://www.icrc.org/ihl/7c4d08d9b287a42141256739003e63bb/6fef854a3517b75ac125641e004a9e68. [Accessed 04 June 2013].

oubliette - Dictionary Definition : Vocabulary.com. 2013. oubliette - Dictionary Definition : Vocabulary.com. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/oubliette. [Accessed 04 June 2013].

Third Geneva Convention - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. 2013. Third Geneva Convention - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. [ONLINE] Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Geneva_Convention. [Accessed 04 June 2013].

Doing lines - the theatrical way

As some of you may know, I am try to be a thespian but my downfall is my line learnign. I leave it to the last minute and the lines don't sink in until they are fully immersed in my muscle memory. But more importantly, how does that oubliette of knowledge (the Internet) educate the lone "Am-Drammer" to learn lines?

About.com suggests reading it out aloud a lot of times, I haven't been it reading it out aloud yet, so maybe this is my first stumbling block.

A BBC video of some of your favourite actors explain some tips - I do write out my own lines in my own hand writing and I am tempted to do some drawings to go with them as I feel I am a visual learner and I like doodling.

Wikihow suggests reading the play and understanding it - see how your character fits into the mesh of it - and use the movements in the play's script whilst you go over the lines. Know your cue by learning those as well and split your script into manageable chunks. 

As you traverse down the search engine's suggestions for learning lines, the suggestions increase from seven tips to ten to twelve. 

You will no doubt search through Youtube for some line learning tips, this is quite a fun one and he suggests you get a comfortable environment, understand the words and cover the words with your hand on the script, the hard work is at the beginning of the session to name but a few of the methods.

There is no magic way of learning lines, it is just a question of learning them but the above tips do help. 

Apologies for what might be a boring post, but it may help you at some point later, you never know.